More Like You with Angie Mizzell

Finding Your Voice at Any Age with Marnie Dachis Marmet

• Angie Mizzell • Episode 12

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What does it really mean to find your voice—and why does it feel so hard sometimes?

In this episode, I’m joined by functional health coach and author Marnie Dachis Marmet. Marnie shares how writing her memoir, My Song Unleashed, became an unexpected journey of self-discovery, helping her break free from expectations and embrace authenticity.

We talk about how movement, mindset, and writing can help you reconnect with yourself, why it feels so hard to share vulnerable parts of your story, and what happens when living more like you starts to shift your relationships.

If you’ve ever felt stuck, silenced, or like you’re searching for what’s next, this conversation will inspire you to take the next step toward a life that feels more like you.

Connect with Marnie Dachis Marmet:

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Angie Mizzell (00:00)
What does it really mean to find your voice and why does it feel so hard sometimes? Hey, I'm Angie Mizzell and welcome to More Like You, the podcast about letting go of the life that you thought you should live and creating a life that feels more like you.

I'm a former television journalist turned author and storyteller, and I know how it feels to chase success that looks good on paper, but doesn't feel right in your heart. Walking away from that life changed everything for me. It taught me to trust myself, embrace change, and create a life that feels like home. And now I'm here to help you do the same. In today's episode, I'm joined by Marni Dachis Marmet

functional health coach and author of My Song Unleashed. Marnie shares how she spent years feeling stuck until she finally found the courage to speak her truth. We talk about the role of writing, movement and mindset in finding your voice and why embracing authenticity is the key to living a balanced and meaningful life.

Angie Mizzell (01:03)
thank you for joining me today, Marnie. So we met through our publisher. Our memoirs came out at about the same time. So start by telling us about your memoir, My Song Unleashed.

Marnie Dachis Marmet (01:12)
Mm-hmm.

Angie Mizzell (01:18)
what it's about, but why you felt compelled to share your story

Marnie Dachis Marmet (01:22)
it's the story of me finding my voice over the course of many years. And I felt like I was kind of stuck inside myself and not letting myself out into the world. there's a lot of personal stuff in the book and it's just really a kind of almost like a coming of age, except that I'm 51. So it took a long time for me to come.

come to where I am today. But why I wrote this book, it's funny because I really didn't set out to write this book. Like that was not my intention at all. I did always want to write a book from the time I was a kid and I actually wanted to write some sort of fiction, like historical fiction book. That's kind of what I imagined in my mind.

And a few years ago, I decided to enroll in some writing classes because I just thought, well, if I want to write a book, need to, I need to write. So I enrolled in a local class and I really liked it. And we were writing a lot of personal stories and it ended up that there were a couple of people I like knew not super well, but I knew them well enough that I didn't really want to be writing such personal things.

in this class. So I asked the instructor at the end, you do you have another recommendation for me? And she referred me to something called Creative Nonfiction, which was an online writing school that no longer exists, unfortunately. But I entered a memoir writing class because it worked in my schedule. And I took this class. I loved the instructor. There were people from all over the world in the class.

And they would give us prompts and we had to write a certain number of words per week. And the only way we would get feedback from the instructor is if we completed the word count and then you'd also get like peer review. So you had to do peer review and you had to write your words. And so I'm very type A, I was motivated by that. So I got a lot of writing out.

based on the prompts the instructor was giving us. And then I took that class four times over the course of the year, like literally the same exact course. Different people were enrolled each quarter, but at the end of the year, I had like the guts of a book and people in the course were like, you should write a book, you should write a book, this would make a good book, people would relate to your story. So I...

Angie Mizzell (03:30)
Wow.

Mm-hmm.

Marnie Dachis Marmet (03:46)
was like, well, maybe I should investigate this a little bit. But there's a lot of personal stuff in it. And I wasn't sure. I wanted to share my life with the world, necessarily. But I thought I would investigate it. So I found Kate Hopper, who I know you worked with as well. She was referred to me by some mutual friends. And I just kind of showed her what I had and asked her what she thought. And

she really helped me like flesh out all the writing I had and kind of make it cohesive so that it could be a book. And then I kind of took off from there.

Angie Mizzell (04:24)
Yes, I can relate to that. But I want to go back to that class. What was driving you to take it four times? And so because you've already said the fact that it was personal, you were like, I don't know if I want to share this with anybody, but something was happening.

that was making you want to show up and write about the personal parts of your life. So what was going on there?

Marnie Dachis Marmet (04:47)
You know, I think I had so much inside of me that was dying to come out. And it was like, it was almost like, I don't wanna say I was vomiting all over the page, but it was like, once I got started writing, it was like a new prompt would come out. And all of a sudden I just, it was like, I can't explain it.

wasn't invested in the writing at that point, it was almost just like.

writing whatever kind of came out of me. And obviously I did some editing and stuff because an instructor was reading it, but it wasn't like I was doing a lot of critical thinking around it. I was just letting it out. And I really enjoyed the course and it was almost cathartic for me and healing in some way to just be writing all these stories. am a journaler and I've been writing journals probably since I got my first journal when I was like seven.

and I have them all. So like I would go back and read some of my journals while I was in this course or look at photo albums and it would like trigger a memory and then I would write, you know, write about that. And so it was, I really loved the course and I loved the process and I loved getting feedback from people. I didn't know, I felt a lot more confident sharing my stories with random people versus like someone that I know that.

you know, maybe I would have worried would have judged me in some capacity. So it felt like a very safe space. And then I'm getting, you know, all this like real genuine feedback that kind of empowered me to just continue on that journey.

Angie Mizzell (06:06)
Mm-hmm.

Yes, and at this point you were a coach.

were you feeling drawn to just look back at how you got where you are

Marnie Dachis Marmet (06:24)
yes, I don't think I realized that kind of every little step along the way, starting with, you know, launching my coaching career and going back to school and doing all of that. I don't think I realized when I was in it how it was affecting me. But once I was writing and kind of drawing out themes and noticing, I was like, wow, like I did a lot of growth in these 10 years or whatever it was.

Angie Mizzell (06:47)
Right,

because a lot of your memoir, we discussed this when our books came out, completely different stories, yet so many universal parallels. One in particular was just you trying to find yourself in your work, in your career, trying to find meaningful work, coming to terms with your identity within your family and who you believed.

yourself to be, but then having life circumstances and crossroads make you you start to challenge your own identity. So that was very interesting to me, those parallels this is a larger theme in your book, you started to make a connection to your body, that somehow

awakened something in you that you were able to find your voice. And can you can we talk about that a little bit more?

Marnie Dachis Marmet (07:36)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, like the physical body you're talking about, even with my yoga teacher training and just like moving and breathing. And it's like, I think that I grew up tense and clenched. And, you know, I was a gymnast in high school and it was always about tightening your butt muscles and, know, everything's tight and firm and rigid in some ways.

Angie Mizzell (07:43)
Yeah.

Marnie Dachis Marmet (08:04)
I remember like even as a kid, my mom being like, suck it in, you know, and I wasn't a heavy kid or anything like that, but just like, you got to suck in the gut. like, that's not what we want to do, right? We don't want to walk around clenched. And I think I did. I think I held my breath. I clenched and until I, you know, I started practicing yoga and I just going through the practice of yoga.

itself my body learned to relax and and I learned to breathe and then when I went through training to I didn't go through training to actually teach yoga I did a little bit of teaching but I really did it for personal growth and I really learned how to use my body to help me instead of maybe fighting it if that makes sense

Angie Mizzell (08:50)
Mm-hmm.

Absolutely.

is a scene in my story.

where my husband and I have moved to Portland, Oregon. So I'm across the country, 3000 miles away from home. I'm unemployed, very lost in just this sense of what am I doing with my life? And we were at the gym

I was doing sit ups on the big exercise ball. And it's, can just remember it like it was yesterday.

Marnie Dachis Marmet (09:14)
Mm-hmm.

Angie Mizzell (09:18)
think maybe Jennifer Lopez, like Jenny from the block or something was playing over the speakers. But I had been so not like myself. And in that moment, I felt myself feeling like myself, exercising, listening to music. And then this thought of I can do this anywhere. And the way I process that in the in the story is that

I was making a connection with a part of myself that is truly me, that stays with me wherever I go. And I feel like that is the main thing in your book. When I was reading your book, I felt a connection to your story that sometimes through movement and just feeling our way through life is how we find our way.

Marnie Dachis Marmet (10:11)
Yeah, absolutely. And I think that my connection even, I would go a step further, movement for sure, but even being outside in nature for me is how I tend to connect with my most real self. And it's interesting, you may or may not know this depending on how much you watch my social media, but last September,

Angie Mizzell (10:21)
Mm-hmm.

Marnie Dachis Marmet (10:36)
I did an endurance event called 29.029 Everesting, which is it was in a mountain in Canada. And what I did is I, I hiked the mountain 15 times in a row, which is the equivalent of 29,029 feet, which is the equivalent of hiking Everest. And it was an event and you had to complete it in 36 hours. And it was hard. And I trained for five months to do this. And

I realized that the more I get inside my body like that, I mean, this was a very physical experience, but it was also like a very mental experience. And I had to, I did mindset training actually every single day for like three months where I visualized myself completing this. I told myself I can do this. I thanked my legs. I thanked my feet. I thanked my body. Like I was very connected to myself and I...

You know, I did the event, I completed the event, I went into it that there was no way I was not going to complete the event. And afterwards, I felt like I could do anything. And it was just this like empowering experience where, you know, a lot of times fear holds us back, or it holds me back anyway. I think it holds a lot of people back in different ways. And I just felt so empowered.

Angie Mizzell (11:41)
Hmm.

Marnie Dachis Marmet (11:55)
Like, hey, I just did this. I can do anything. And it was just such a hard thing to explain, except that I felt so connected to my body and myself in a really good way.

Angie Mizzell (12:07)
So as a health and wellness coach,

why do your clients come to you? What are they facing? What are their challenges? And how has your experience helped you do this job as a coach?

Marnie Dachis Marmet (12:22)
tend to attract people that are out of balance. And a lot of women come to me to find more balance in their lives and to really try and figure out what they want their life to authentically look like. And then there's a lot of little things around that, right? There's stress, huge thing is stress, sleep.

you know, diet, movement or exercise. People come to me, in midlife feeling like their hormones are, maybe they think it's their hormones being out of whack, but oftentimes, we take a step back and I ask them a lot of probing questions. And it's not necessarily hormones being out of whack. Like there's often a lot going on in a woman's life. And so

Angie Mizzell (13:08)
Mm-hmm.

Marnie Dachis Marmet (13:08)
A lot of times people just need someone to talk to and listen and help them create a roadmap for what they can do so that they can create a more balanced life for themselves.

Angie Mizzell (13:21)
Yeah, so when someone feels out of balance, and like you said, there could be so many different things. It could be lifestyle, could be food, diet, exercise, circumstances. Where would someone even begin?

Marnie Dachis Marmet (13:35)
So if they're working with me or if they're working alone, it's hard to do this work alone, I think. It's very difficult. But I would start to, well, first of all, if someone hires me, they're going to fill out a pretty in-depth questionnaire that really asks them a lot of questions about their life. So that before we even meet, I have a sense for what's going on.

Angie Mizzell (13:40)
Well, let's... Yes!

Marnie Dachis Marmet (14:01)
in their mind and their, you what they think are issues. Then, you know, I like to have clients really start thinking about and asking themselves, like, let's first identify what matters to you most in the different areas of your life. So it could be work, could be relationships, it could be your health or your personal growth. And once you identify, like, you know, you...

I like to take it step by step because this could be a really big process and I want to make it as easy and painless as possible for clients. but they need to clarify their values and their goals with me before we can even dive in. can't say, everybody needs to start with sleep because you could be sleeping 10 hours a night and be an amazing sleeper and sleep is not your issue.

Angie Mizzell (14:43)
Mm-hmm.

Marnie Dachis Marmet (14:53)
So I need to know, you know, what are your issues and what are your goals? what do you envision for yourself? If you could picture yourself in six months, what does that look like to you? What is the number one thing you wanna work towards right now?

Angie Mizzell (15:13)
And I really like that you emphasize this point that we can't do this work alone. Usually it starts with a person just feeling like something is off. And I know that when I started feeling that way in my life and career, I found myself in the bookstore a lot, browsing the self-help aisles.

And I was never one to read nonfiction self-help personal development books, but I almost just felt like I was led there. You know, maybe I went there to buy another journal and then I'm like, what's on these shelves? And I was trying to become a student of the process. But you get to a point where once you start peeling back layers, it's a lot and it really is important to have a partner to do

this work with. And I feel like so you answered the question if you're working with people. So again, to someone just listening to this podcast, you raise some questions that you will ask them in this discovery call and questionnaire. But what are some key questions someone can ask themselves if they're just starting to acknowledge that something feels off in their life?

Marnie Dachis Marmet (16:24)
I think if someone can grab a notebook, a journal, a piece of printer paper, whatever it is, just take five minutes or 10 minutes and write down a vision that you have for yourself six months from now.

I think even just doing that and maybe it's a vision in your personal life and a vision in your work life or in your health and wellness life, whatever it is. Maybe it's, you know, I see myself moving to another country and working, you know, in France and living off the land. I mean, I'm being very random right now, but I'm just saying come up with a vision or maybe it's

something as simple as I want to cook three meals a week

I wanna make sure that I'm making home cooked meals three times a week. Maybe it's going to bed at nine o'clock five nights a week. ideally your vision is actionable.

Angie Mizzell (17:27)
I always make some things very deep and sometimes it doesn't have to be that deep. And what I mean by that is it doesn't have to be so overwhelming and scary. And I love that you said the vision, even if it feels bigger or unattainable,

it is actionable and being able to break that down and start to see a practical path forward. It's very helpful. Let's go back to these are things I was learning about you as I was reading your

we start to find our voice, become more of who we are, we rock the boat with people, with relationships. And so...

say whatever you want to say about that in terms of what has that experience been like for you and any sort of insight or wisdom for people who are afraid of that. And I will just say I'm one of those people that I'm so afraid of loss and losing relationships and connections are so important. And yet our most important relationship is with ourself so that we can actually have

better relationships.

Marnie Dachis Marmet (18:35)
Mm-hmm. Yep. So I would say that, in my younger days, what other people thought of me was really important to me and more than I ever cared to admit in all honesty. But it's the truth and especially my family and my parents. You know, I was I am still very connected to my parents, but like what they thought of me and my extended family. And I think that

As I went through this journey, I started to peel back some of like, where did that come from? And why do I care? And I started to care less and less. And I think some of that just comes with age too. You notice like women in their 50s kind of stepping into their own all over the place because they feel more empowered and more confident and they just stop caring what everybody else thinks. And I think that...

Angie Mizzell (19:24)
Mm-hmm.

Marnie Dachis Marmet (19:26)
As I started to find my voice and I keep going back to yoga training, it was an intense training. It wasn't like a weekend training. It was over a year. It was like a 15 month training. And when I started that, I was afraid to like guide a room full of people in a yoga class. So, now I'm podcasting every week. Like I've clearly come a long way.

And I think that I've just come to be like, not everybody is going to like me. It's just, we don't like, I don't like everybody. Everybody's not going to like me. And I'm okay with that. the people that want to be with me and I want to be with are the people that I need to focus on. And the people that I don't feel good around, I've let go.

and that feels really good and that's been hard, but I've done that. Like I'm not putting my time and attention into people that I don't feel good around and they probably don't feel good around me.

Angie Mizzell (20:27)
you shared more vulnerable parts of your story in your memoir. And I know from working with Kate and going through that same process that by the time the book reaches publication, it has been edited in a way that the very raw, gritty parts have, what would the word be? It's not that it's taken out because the vulnerability is still there, but it's of smoothed out. It's a little,

more well-rounded where the reader can see like a bigger picture, where you're not the only person in the story.

Marnie Dachis Marmet (20:58)
Mm-hmm.

Angie Mizzell (21:02)
Was that therapeutic for you to do? To write it and take it from the raw words that you were putting down in a class to crafting it into something that other people would read while maintaining its authenticity?

Marnie Dachis Marmet (21:17)
Yeah, no, it really was. I'm thinking what you're referring to is maybe like the mean girl part of the book. Is that what you're referring to?

Angie Mizzell (21:25)
That actually is the part, the mean girl part, because the personal story with your family, clearly you had talked to

about this. And they knew that you were writing this story. yes, specifically, like relationships with people in the community that people that you're probably not speaking with

Marnie Dachis Marmet (21:32)
Mm-hmm.

first of all, know, Kate is amazing and she didn't even want me to, she didn't think that story should even be in the book because she didn't want me to give them a second of my thought, But I felt strongly that I wanted it to be in the book because

Angie Mizzell (21:53)
Hmm.

I love her.

Marnie Dachis Marmet (22:01)
I think a lot of women have situations like this and they get themselves in these situations with other mean girls, women, whatever. I wanted to show like I came out of this on the other side and I actually, in the moment, it was very difficult. But now on the backside of it, I feel like I really did learn how to not put myself in situations with women.

specifically that I don't feel good around and that I don't want to be around. Instead of being with people because I felt pressure to or because my friends were friends with them, instead of being with people because I really like them, enjoy their company, for the right reasons, for my right reasons, I should say.

some...

uncomfortable situations that arose after the book came out that I just had to hold my head up high and say this is my truth. This is this is my experience. It's a memoir. All the names were changed. Obviously there were players involved that know the right names of the people because they were there. So, you know, I'm in Minneapolis. It's not a very

big city and it gets around but it you know it gets around and then it's done and to be honest with you I don't regret anything I wrote so I I feel good about what I wrote and I'm not ashamed of it and that's kind of where I'm at.

Angie Mizzell (23:26)
Yes, I had a similar experience where I faced some fallout that I did not expect. I have looked at the situation a lot and I've asked myself many times, would does my fear of having these people leave my life? Is that greater than my desire to be true to myself?

And when I say true to myself, I don't think that being an authentic person means that we don't care about other relationships or, you know, what people think about us all the time. But there is like when we're feeling a deeper truth, we have to be true to that. And I felt in my own life that it's taught me how to become my own friend.

Marnie Dachis Marmet (24:09)
Mm-hmm.

Angie Mizzell (24:10)
I

think that's how you start to care less about what other people think, even though you do, in fact, care about them. It's like, but I have to be my friend. If I'm not going to be my friend, then who is going to be my friend?

Marnie Dachis Marmet (24:20)
Mm-hmm.

Angie Mizzell (24:25)
I feel like sharing stories, telling our stories is one of the greatest things we can do to find our own voice. So is there anything you would say to someone who has no desire to share their story with the public,

How can they connect with their truth and with other people through shared experiences?

Marnie Dachis Marmet (24:40)
Mm-hmm.

So I mean, obviously you can connect just by having a strong group of friends and sharing that way, or a spouse or significant other. I do think that writing is very cathartic and a really good way to share what's going on inside of you, even if you're not writing.

Angie Mizzell (24:53)
Mm-hmm.

Marnie Dachis Marmet (25:11)
for anyone but you. Like you could literally write it all down and then crumple it up and throw it away. I still think the process of actually writing and getting it out is really beneficial to people in general. Like I can't think of anyone that said I felt terrible after I wrote.

Angie Mizzell (25:32)
And that is a great point because I think about how I started journaling and again just drawn to writing and I wasn't thinking I'm journaling because I'm going to turn this into a book. And so I think the minute we start thinking about the audience, if you think about that too soon, you lose your voice. So it's a great point that you made that you don't have to necessarily identify as a writer to write.

It is a place for you to document how you think and feel so you can start to get more connected with that. Is journaling part of the work you do with your clients? you encourage them to do that?

Marnie Dachis Marmet (26:12)
I do. There is a lot of journaling. when you hear journaling, I'm not talking about pages and pages of journaling. But I may give a prompt or a suggestion and then ask them to journal about it. And it could be sleep journaling. It could be movement journaling. There's a lot of different kinds of writing. But I do like people.

Angie Mizzell (26:18)
Hmm.

Marnie Dachis Marmet (26:33)
You know, we all are on our phones so much and the notes, you know, I use my notes section in my phone all the time, but there's something about taking a pen or a pencil and physically writing with your hand. And I do think, especially when you're doing some like goal setting and thinking about, you know, visioning and thinking about what you want out of life, really writing that down gets it in your brain in a different way than typing.

And so I do encourage my clients to journal. We talk a lot about journaling, not to write a book, but just journaling for their own well-being. And it's fun to go pick out like a fun, cute journal. You don't have to spend a lot of money. Yeah, so I do.

Angie Mizzell (27:16)
And I'm glad that you said it doesn't have to be pages and pages, because even now, I usually will just capture a phrase or a thought. And sometimes I'll leave a notebook just near where I am. And it really is still an important part of our creative process to capture what we're thinking and feeling.

So you also have a podcast. And so tell everybody how they can connect with you and learn more about you and everything that you have to offer.

Marnie Dachis Marmet (27:36)
Yes.

Okay, well, if you're interested in working with me coaching wise, my practice is called Zenful Life Coaching and that's Z-E-N-F-U-L Life Coaching. You can also just Google my name, Marni Dachis Marmet and you'll see that come up as well. I do co-host a podcast called the Art of Living Well podcast and

Our goal is to empower our listeners to find their art of living well, whatever that may be to them. And we bring on a lot of different guests from a lot of different backgrounds, mostly in the mind, body, spirit arena. And then my co-host Stephanie and I also do episodes together where we're talking a lot about longevity and various health and wellness topics. My memoir is My Song Unleashed.

And there's an audio version, there's a Kindle version, there's a print version. And if you Google My Song Unleashed, you can choose wherever you would want to purchase it from. And you can connect with me on Instagram at Zenful Life Coaching. And I would look forward to hearing from any of you.

Angie Mizzell (28:51)
Well, thank you so much, Marnie. I love that our journeys intersected and that I get to know you now and we can talk about our shared stories. And I really loved hearing about how you help other people. I know it's going to be very beneficial to my listeners. So thank you so much for being with me today.

Marnie Dachis Marmet (29:09)
Thank you so much for having me. It's been super fun connecting in this format.

Angie Mizzell (29:14)
Thank you for listening to More Like You. If Marnie's story inspired you to start finding your own voice or reconnect with what feels true for you, I'd love to hear about it. You can connect with me on Instagram at @AngieMizzell and I also invite you to join my email community at angiemizzell.com for more personal reflections and inspiration. And if you're looking for a deeper dive into trusting yourself and embracing change, check out my memoir, Girl in the Spotlight.

It's available wherever books are sold.

If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend or leave a review. It helps more people discover conversations like this one. Thanks again for being here and until next time, keep creating a life that feels like home.